Something In Your Eyes
by SapphireBee
Summary: It all began with a small bruise, something so tiny, and so insignificant, but it was at that moment Bumblebee's world slowly started to fall apart. Rated for character death and sensitive themes. Now with a second chapter- Six months after the death of Sam, Bumblebee attempts to pick up the pieces but we all sometimes need a little help.
1. Something in Your Eyes

_**Been a while, this is something I've been working on. It is very different to what I usually would write, but I hope you all enjoy regardless**__._

_:Flashbacks:_

Something In Your Eyes

By Steph 

It all began with a small bruise, something so tiny, and so _insignificant, _but it was at that moment everything started to change.

Sam had been lethargic for several days, not eating, barely even attempting to get out of bed. Out on the driveway Bumblebee monitored his human with concern, it was not so much what was wrong, it was that there was no obvious explanation. Only when Sam's mother, Judy decided to act, did things really roll into motion.

_Bumblebee loyally took the family to the doctors, located on the far side of town, during the drive, Sam's body seemed to act against him as he emptied the contents of his stomach on the roadside. By now, Bumblebee was frantic, not only was there something seriously wrong with Sam, he was powerless to do anything about it. All he could do was watch, and wait for the verdict from the human doctors. In the parking lot, Bumblebee monitored the conversation between Sam's parents and the medical professionals, with his advanced Cybertroian hearing, Bumblebee could easily make out the words being exchanged._

"_**It could be a virus, possibly what is causing Samuel's unusual symptoms. I will draw some blood and run some tests, they should shed some light into what is causing this."**_

_Bumblebee heard Sam cough miserably, his spark twinged at the awful sound. _

"_**Blood tests?" **__Judy's voice echoed. _

"_**Yes, try not to worry Mrs Witwicky. I am sure whatever this is, we can help."**_

Oh how wrong it was to make a promise like that to a mother. Especially one that was not totally certain to be kept.

_On the way home, Bumblebee remained silent as Sam drifted to sleep on the backseat. A gentle tap on his dash brought the young mech out of his thoughts. _

"_I'm scared, Bumblebee" Judy whispered, tightening her grip on his steering wheel. Bumblebee could feel the woman's worry from the way she held her body._

"_Mrs Witwicky, I don't know what is wrong with Sam, but I will help you find out in any way I can."_

_Judy stared at the dash for a moment, letting a small smile stretch across her tired face. _

"_Thank you."_

In the weeks that followed Sam's condition only seemed to deteriorate, and after a particularly violent display of sickness, Sam was finally admitted to hospital.

The results from the blood test confirmed everyone's worst fear…

"_Mr and Mrs Witwicky? My name is Doctor Harper and I am overseeing your son's treatment."_

_Both parents took in the doctor's expression. She wore the typical professional artier, one who seemed to be experienced in dealing with sick loved one's families. _

"_How do you do." _

_Checking her notes, Doctor Harper pulled up a chair, sitting opposite Sam's parents. _

"_Samuel's white blood count is much lower then normal, his blood is also presenting a very low percentage of normal red blood cells and platelets. This would suggest a Leukemic syndrome."_

_It was then both Ron and Judy fully understood the severity of their son's condition. For Judy in particular, it was all to much. She broke down on the main corridor of the hospital as her husband tried to offer her comfort while at the same time dealing with his own emotions. _

"_Leukaemia?" _

_Doctor Harper nodded her head. "Yes, I'm so very sorry, but we are sure with what Sam's blood is presenting to us, he could have acute promyelocytic leukaemia. We will need to perform a bone marrow aspirate to be certain, but from what we already know, this diagnostic seems to be most likely." _

It was from that moment on, Bumblebee's world slowly started to fall apart.

Sam was immediately put onto a high intensity chemotherapy treatment to try and reduce the number of Leukemic cells in his blood. The first time, Sam violently started to throw up, and by his fifth treatment, most of his soft brown hair had fallen from his head. Bumblebee rarely left Sam's side, spending most of time in the hospital car park, keeping sensors on his charge at all times. Two months after the initial diagnostic, Sam had been put into remission, things were looking up, and Sam was allowed home. That gave Bumblebee hope.

Bumblebee then made the effort to spend extra time with Sam, everyday, the pair went to the overlook or out for a long night drive when Sam's parents allowed it. For three short weeks things finally seemed right in the world once more. Until Sam's relapse.

The hospital confirmed the results within hours. The cancer was back, more aggressive then ever, and so began the new rounds of chemotherapy treatment, but by now, Sam's body was tiring as he succumbed to the deadly illness.

"_What do you mean there is nothing you can do! There has to be something!" _

_Ratchet's optics widened as Bumblebee ploughed his fist into the wall, pain flared through his arm, but he welcomed it, anything was better then the agonising sense of failure that burned deeply in his spark chamber. _

"_WHY, JUST TELL ME THAT, WHY HIM!" Bumblebee's voice wavered now, his half healed vocal processor struggling with the intensity of the words._

_Ratchet said nothing, as Bumblebee slammed another fist into the weakened structure. The medic made no move to stop him, he just let the young scout's anger burn itself out. Watching as Bumblebee slowly sank to the floor letting out a low mechanical wail. _

"_I'm sorry, Bumblebee, so sorry, the universe has decided to be so cruel." _

_Bumblebee didn't hear Ratchet's words, only the voice of his own pain._

Sam had returned home by now, after four more months of agonising pain and fighting, the doctors concluded none of the treatments were working, it was time to let nature take it's course. Sam took it all in his stride, accepting that it was his time, at only eighteen years of age.

Bumblebee frantically stayed by Sam's bedside every night using his hard light hologram, spending every single precious moment with his dear charge. Sam's parents often sat with him, doing all they could to make Sam's last few weeks as comfortable as possible.

_One particular night, after both Ron and Judy had gone to bed, Sam had one of his rare elusive moments where he was very aware of what was going on. On the driveway Bumblebee immediately noticed, activating his hologram, he entered his charge's room through the window, smiling lightly, seeing that Sam was actually sat up in bed. _

"_Hey Bee." Sam's croaky voice greeted his guardian. Bumblebee walked forward, taking his usual seat by Sam's bedside. _

"_Hello Sam." Bumblebee murmured, carefully taking Sam's hand. "How are you feeling?" _

_Sam's shoulders shrugged, his breathing hitching a little with the action. "Can't complain, no worse then yesterday." _

_Bumblebee grimaced, taking in Sam's paler skin tone. Day by day, Sam was slowly getting worse, it was now rare for him to be able to keep a conversation for longer then half an hour. Bumblebee watched intently as Sam's eyes locked with his own artificial ones. _

"_Bee…" Sam started, his voice shaking now. "I'm frightened." _

_Bumblebee's holographic eyes widened, without hesitation he moved forward in his arms, drawing him close against his own chest. "Shhh, it's all right, I'm here" Bumblebee whispered, smoothing his hand against Sam's head. Tears fell, soaking the fabric of Bee's shirt, Sam let out another chocked sob tightening his grip around Bumblebee's body. _

"_I don't want to die" he ushered so quietly, even Bumblebee strained to hear the words. _

_Bumblebee's spark broke right there, hearing Sam so helpless, he moved Sam gently forward, so that he could gaze at Sam's face. "It's going to be okay, your not alone, I won't leave your side." _

"_Promise?" Sam asked, so childlike Bumblebee almost lost his focus. He nodded "I promise."_

_Sam gazed into Bumblebee's eyes for what seemed like an eternity before settling his head back down and allowing Bumblebee to draw his body into another warm embrace._

Just two days after, Sam had stopped breathing in the middle of the night, his body finally having lost it's battle with cancer. His parents had found him curled up in the arms of Bumblebee's hologram, Sam's face looked very peaceful, but the heaving sobs emitting from the body next to him were enough to let both parents know their beloved Sam had died.

_Bumblebee activated his hologram after only a few hours of recharge, loyally taking his seat by Sam's bed. Scanning his charge, Bumblebee noted his slower breathing and heart rate, he must be sleeping. Settling down, Bumblebee was content to just sit and keep an eye on what mattered, but to his surprise, Sam stirred, opening both eyes, the teenager made a move to sit up, but was quickly stopped by a hand across his chest._

"_No Sam, your still tired, rest." _

_Sam sigh, but complied as Bumblebee eased him back down into the soft fabrics of the mattress. His breathing hitched as he tried to speak, instead, Sam just opened both of his arms. Taking it as a silent invitation, Bumblebee hopped up onto the edge of the bed wrapping both arms around Sam's fragile body. Sam sigh, cuddling into the warm embrace. _

"_Bee?" Sam managed to whisper in the darkness. _

"_Yes Sam?" _

_Closing his eyes, Sam moved his head closer to Bumblebee's chest, hearing the faint sound of an artificial heartbeat. _

"_Tell me about Cybertron, what it was like before the war."_

_Stunned by his charge's random request, Bumblebee paused for a second, he gently ran a hand over Sam's forehead before speaking. _

"_Well… it was beautiful. All across the planet's surface as far as the eye could see, huge spiralling buildings made of crystallite metal shone under the golden twin sun. The great city of Iacon to the north with it's mighty sacred temple shined brighter then any star, with the Allspark housed there, it was a place of celebration and life. In it's golden age, Cybertron's purple dawned sky glistened like diamonds as we watched the annual primious meteor shower rain down from space…"_

_Bumblebee trailed off, glancing down at Sam. Worry surged through the yellow mech's spark, Sam's breathing was becoming much shallower then it should be. Caught in the middle of analysing data, Bumblebee almost missed Sam's words. _

"_Keep going." Sam whispered, letting a small smile stretched across his face, he hugged Bumblebee's holoform tighter. _

_Bumblebee sniffed, even as a hologram autobots were more then capable of crying, after all, the hologram was an extension of themselves, with it's own set of nanites and programming. They __**were **__the hologram just as much as they were themselves in vehicle form or robot form. _

_Tears fell free of Bumblebee's face, he lowered his head down, his cheek touching Sam's ear._

"_T-to t-the e-east lay the great crystal city, the most beautiful thing on Cybertron, with it's brilliant roads that shone brighter then anything in the universe. Protected by the guardian Omega supreme, it was Cybertron's greatest achievement. I remember how me and Cliffjumper would race through it's streets, before sitting together to watch the sunrise. The light would cascade down onto the tip of the crystal tower, sending a wave of colours across the horizon. We would often…"_

_Bumblebee once more fell silent, stroking a finger across Sam's face, tracing the smooth texture of his cheek. _

"_Sam?" Bumblebee questioned. Only the silence of the night answered him, Bumblebee glanced down at Sam's face, his eyes filled with tears as he gently shook on his charge's shoulder._

"_S-sam, p-p-please…" Bumblebee was sobbing now, he moved his head back down to bury his face into Sam's shoulder. He didn't need his scanners to tell him what had happened. Sam was gone, and he wasn't coming back._

Bumblebee knew what the humans meant now when they said, life is too short. It was too short, and Sam's had ended far earlier then it should have. At Sam's funeral, Bumblebee couldn't help but feel angry, it was true that bad things happened to good people. Sam didn't deserve to die so young, yet somewhere some supreme being or force had decided his time was up, he was gone now, and there was no bringing him back.

After the funeral, Bumblebee stood alone besides a white tablet, the only thing that now remained of Sam aside from his memory. Would he see Sam again somewhere beyond the stars? Silently looking down at the white grave stone, Bumblebee delicately traced the lettering with one metal finger.

He hoped so, he really hoped so…

_**AN You will all probably recognise **_**_some themes from 'My sister's Keeper' I did watch the film before writing this, so the bunny is due to that. Very sad film, has me in tears everytime I watch. R&R_**

**_Sapphirebee x  
_**


	2. Stirrings

Here is a little musing I had when I should have been preparing for my exams. Sequel chapter to _Something in Your Eyes, _R&R.

Sapphirebee x

_:__fashbacks:_

Stirrings

By Steph

Six months, it had been six months since Sam's passing. Six, long months without the one thing that made the world seem right. During that time, Bumblebee's spark had grown cold, things didn't seem the same, and the small things in life that had once made him happy now barely even prompted a response. Most of his life, even amongst his own people Bumblebee had stood alone never quite feeling the same sense of family his fellow Cybertroians did when they were together. Upon meeting Sam everything had changed, that one small perhaps seemingly insignificant event, had forever changed Bumblebee. With Sam, life seemed brighter, happier; there was sense of unity and family between them, the other autobots had noticed the change in the young scout almost immediately, Bumblebee was happier.

Then in that single instance, it was taken, taken cruelly away. The bond between guardian and charge was always said to be strong, it ran spark deep, with the transformer race they would usually last a lifetime. A single pledge to protect another's life, and this kind of oath left marks. The failure of a guardian to protect his charge was perhaps one of the worst pains a Cybertroian could feel aside from losing a sparkmate, and Bumblebee was now experiencing this hurt.

"_Are you sure it is wise, to form this kind of a pact with a human? It has certainly never been done before." Ratchet sounded, wary. _

_Bumblebee gazed up at the medic, his bright blue optics full of certainty. "I am sure, Sam needs protecting, and I believe this is the best way of accomplishing that."_

_Ratchet stood silently, contemplating what was going to eventually transpire. "You do realize that Sam will only live for a fraction of your own natural lifespan? He will die as all humans do when their time comes; they are such a short-lived race."_

_Bumblebee turned quickly, facing Ratchet, the forefront of the mech's optics glaring into the larger bots. _

"_I know that Ratchet! I have done nothing but go over the countless possibilities of how Sam could be harmed, or how shortly he will live. You, Optimus, Ironhide, you all had your chance to experience a guardian bond; Ironhide still has that with me. I want that chance myself I never will under normal circumstances, there are no more sparklings. As Sam's guardian it is my job to make sure he is safe, what better way than a bond that will link us together?"_

"_I do not doubt your intentions Bumblebee." Ratchet replied, his voice both soft and calming. "I only fear what the loss of Sam will do to you, you are still young, these types of bonds are not taken lightly, and it will change you, perhaps for the remainder of your existence."_

_Bumblebee nodded once, looking at Ratchet directly. "I know of the risks, but I am wanting to this Ratchet." _

_The medic paused, inside admiring at how much the young scout had matured since arriving to earth. "Very well."_

That was how it had all started.

Bumblebee after explaining the implications of the bond to the young human and with his permission had gone and sealed a promise he made to Sam when he had first asked to stay with him in Mission city.

"_What do I have to do Bee?" Sam asked nervously, he was afraid at what was going to happen, but one thing Sam was absolutely certain of, he trusted Bumblebee with his life._

_The yellow mech gazed down at his young charge, they were currently at the overlook, a peaceful, familiar place that Bumblebee thought would help Sam with this new transition. "Just close your eyes and stay very still, I'm going to require to touch you physically in order to initiate the bond itself. You will feel a bit of shock but this is completely normal."_

_Sam nodded, he looked at the floor, quietly contemplating at what was about to happen. "Bee?" Sam asked quietly. _

"_What is it Sam?" Come the soft, gentle reply. _

"_What will this 'bond' to do us? I mean will it change anything between us?" Sam looked up into his guardian's optics. Bumblebee immediately recognized the worried expression on the teenager's face, carefully, Bumblebee scooped up Sam's body, and gently deposited him upon his lap he stroked one metal digit down the contours of Sam's back. _

"_Nothing is going to change Sam, you are my charge, and one of my closest friends, with this bond it will allow me to find you, wherever you may be, or how ever far away you go. I will be able to sense if you are in any kind of danger and I will know if you ever need my help." _

"_So," Sam began slowly "this bond will allow you to protect me better?" Sam gazed up at Bumblebee's face, finding himself starting into the bright optics of his closest friend. _

_Bumblebee held Sam's gaze, his own optics softening. "Yes, but it also means more than that Sam. This bond is very precious to Cybertroians; we do not initiate it lightly. Translation problems seem to occur a lot when we try to translate our language into English." Bumblebee said with a soft sigh, "Sam do you know what being a guardian means?" _

_Sam taken aback by the question had to think for several seconds, "It means a protector right? Like you protect me from getting squashed by crazy decepticons?"_

_Bumblebee hummed in his chest, sounding like chattering static, it seemed to Bumblebee's equivalent of a laugh. _

"_Our language is difficult to translate at the best of times, I think this is one of these occasions where a mis-translation has happened, a guardian means to protect yes, but it means far more than that, it means friend, confidant, comrade, and most importantly family." _

_Only when Bumblebee had uttered those words did Sam realize the depth of Bumblebee's feelings for him, he was more than an assignment, and at the same time, Sam could not help but feel humbled. _

"_Why me, Bee, why would you choose to take on that kind of commitment? I'm not one of you, I'm just a human." _

_Bumblebee shook his head, "you were never 'just a human' to me Sam, your my charge and my closest friend, and that is why I chose to become your guardian after mission city. Your species is at best illogical and seems to put much emphasis on making mistakes." _

_Sam began to open his mouth to protest. _

"_But you grow as a result of them; you yourself have grown Sam, in so many ways. You were drawn into a war that you should not have been a part of, but you fought alongside us, with me anyway, for that I am eternally grateful to you. For that reason I wish to re-pay a debt, you saved my people, and gave them second chance. Please Sam, I wish to share this with you." _

"_I… don't know what to say, Bee." _

_The yellow scout gazed tenderly down at the smaller being, optics glowing softly as he placed a gentle fingertip under the human's face. "Just say yes."_

_Gazing into Bumblebee's bright optics, Sam could sense the weight of this decision on Bumblebee, this meant a lot to him._

_And then, that single word left the young human's lips, spoken so quietly that even Bumblebee nearly missed it. "Yes." _

_And it was then, that the first guardian bond between a human and a cybertroian was formed. _

The moment Sam had died was when the bond had broken, It was the moment Bumblebee's world had fallen apart, humans were already such a short lived species, that Sam had barely lived less than a quarter of those years only added to endless grief that now tore itself through Bumblebee's spark.

"_Bee" a gruff but soft voice said in the darkness. "It's been more than two months since Sam's passed away, he wouldn't want you grieving like this."_

_Dimly lit blue optics stared upwards, from the metal berth Bumblebee was laid upon he recognized the dim outline of Ironhide. The yellow mech stared at his own Guardian for a moment before looking away. _

"_Bee, come on, talk to me." The soft plea came out in the words as Ironhide moved slowly forward, placing a hand upon Bumblebee's metal shoulder. _

"_What do you want me to say?" Bumblebee's vocalizer crackled from lack of use. "That I'm going to be okay, that I will simply get over Sam's… death and move on like nothing ever happened?" _

_Ironhide's optics widened, he squeezed Bumblebee's shoulder, shaking his ebony metal head. "No, no-one would ask that of you, but I knew Sam well enough, to know he would not want you to suffer like this, he would want you to live for him." _

_Bumblebee's yellow frame began to flinched as, Ironhide bent down, placing his other hand on the yellow mech's chest, attempting to calm down his own charge. "Bee, Bee, Bee." He crooned, "it's going to be okay." _

_Bumblebee sat up, leaving the berth as he stood, Ironhide moved back in surprise. "No, it's not, Sam died, I should have spotted something was wrong, I was supposed to be his Guardian, his protector, his friend and I let him die." _

_Bee was shaking now, Ironhide quickly moved forward and in a rare display of affection pulled the younger mech close to his chest. "Bee, no, you did everything you could, not even Ratchet knew anything was wrong when you brought Sam to the base that day. It's not your fault, these things happen."_

_Bumblebee moved in Ironhide's arms, looking up at Ironhide's ebony face. "I miss him, not a day goes by that I don't. It hurts." _

_Ironhide gave the younger mech a squeeze "The sense of loss will never leave you." He said quietly._

_Bumblebee shook once more. "Does it get easier?"_

_As Bee spoke, Ironhide placed a hand over his Bumblebee's spark chamber. "Yes, with time but remember, he will always be with you, in here." Ironhide patted Bee's chest plate, gesturing to the spark that pulsed beneath. "These type of bonds don't disappear Bee, not even if your charge is no longer with you, Sam is still with you, and always will be, and who knows, you may see him again someday."_

_Ironhide removed his hand and moved back, placing both hands on each of Bumblebee's shoulders. Bumblebee's optics brightened as he placed his own hand over his spark chamber. He then looked back at Ironhide. "Thank you." _

_Ironhide nodded, standing to leave. Bumblebee stared after him, and as he did he felt a small stirring in his spark. Bumblebee mentally smiled. "Sam," he murmured gently. _

From then, Bumblebee saw that Ironhide was right, time was the biggest healer, and with each day that past, he found himself able to breathe that bit easier. But there were still those days when he was felt particular alone or sad, and it was then Bumblebee would feel those small stirrings inside his spark, a gentle reminder that wherever he was, Sam was still with him.


End file.
